お誕生日おめでとうございます楓弥さん!!

Happy 28th birthday Akiya.. In Japan it is the day after but in Europe it's still today :p But you will probably never see this xD but I will celebrate this day with you in my mind! I wanted to buy cake but I went to Lidl and they didn't have what I wanted so I got some german Apfel-strudel:


It wasn't as great as the cake would have been but it was still good. I have been longing for apple with cinnamon for a few days (^-^)"
Hope you had a great day! The original tour plan says you are supposed to be in Spain tonight but maybe it was canceled I don't know (~.~)..
Anywho! I said yesterday I would post the merch I bought at the Stockholm concert.. so I will :p under a cut!

Aah I'm bored. I'm just waiting for it to get a little later so I can go to bed. Tomorrow I will have my first day at uni for this fall! It's exciting.. But when I looked through my korean books I thought to myself "what have I gotten myself into.." aah I wonder how this will end.. But I will work hard! I want to learn korean well (^-^) I want to be able to read Heechul's cyworld.. OK not only because of that xD I want to do some research that require korean and japanese (^-^)" aah.. Future plans.. Feel a little strange to have this kind of plan going on. Most of my plans aren't seen as so serious by others (O.o)" oh well.. Speaking of Heechul, I could read up on old entries until I go to bed. *nods*

Something that wasn't boring at all was my beloved Kagrra, live!!! Oh GOD I love them so much!!!! I still can't believe I saw them live, and I can REALLY not get that I actally got to meet them and shake their hands!! *faints*
It was unbelievable.. Isshi and Nao spoke swedish during the live XD so cute!!! Aah what they do for their "fans".. most who came were for sure not fans, only some new nerds who think it's cool to go to every japanese live that's in Stockholm.. but oh well :D I don't mind that much! I actually with more had come. Isshi DID promise they would come back but if we had been fewer coming to the live they probably wouldn't come back.. I want them to come back now!! (T_T)
I will post my concert goods tomorrow maybe.. Can't be bothered now... Yeah I'll do it for Akiya's birthday! Tomorrow indeed.. while I'm eating a cake for him (*o*)//
Aaaaaaah Kagrraaaaaaaaa!!!!!! *faints again*

Sunday is almost here.. tomorrow is saturday already. I'm freaking out everytime I think about sunday so I try not to.. So I've spent the day in the My little pony Dream Castle. It got a well needed clean up.. After all these years of playing and idiotic neglect it was pretty dirty. I can't really remember ever cleaning it, but I do hope I did it atleast once. I remember playing with snails in it xD" oh dear..

I got this castle for either my 6th or 7th birthday. I don't think I got everything that came with the castle because my mom bought it second hand. I do know I never had the original Spike that should have been there. I can't remember having the chest either. I do think I may have had the table and goblets but they are gone now as well as some other little trinkets (-.-)" I got the castle along with Majesty and another pony named Windy (purple version).

What's left of the castle is on these pictures:

Well.. First of all, if you only came to look at my pony's you can look

GAWD!!! This week is so.. I don't know what to say.. I've got too little to do so I don't stimulate myself enough so I can't sleep at night anymore no matter how tired I am.. which is kind of ok since I like to watch some of the olympics xD sadly they don't show much of what I want to see... but this morning they showed men's gymnastics *o* hohoho!! It was amazing!

So to try to get a little more tired to be able to get some sleep I decided to go to Stockholm city and look for a Lidl store that wasn't too far away so I can buy cheap food.. and I went to ask when my next Kera! comes :p I don't know why, but Sun Ai get them very late.. Didn't Sci-Fi Bokhandeln already have the August issue? Which Sun Ai says will come next month? Or was it the July issue which Sun Ai will get later this month.. Well maybe I just didn't look that closely and got the month/issue wrong xD Oh well. As long as I don't miss any more it's ok that they are late. I wont get money till later in the month anyway!!

Sci-Fi Bokhandeln (The sci-fi bookstore duh) is in Gamla stan (Old town) in Stockholm.. I accidently went there because I had planned to go to this record store in Gamla stan that I know sell some japanese CD's (need new Kagrra CD to get signed *dies* WHICH THEY DIDN'T HAVE!!!).. And I decided to comfort myself by buying some green tea chocolate and accidently went too far and ended up seeing "L change the world" in the window of Sci-Fi xD I didn't find it inside. I'm blind.... But I must say that Gamla stan in August is Hell (>.<) SO many tourists.. and everyone is walking like snails because they have to see everything.

BUT!!! I am so happy I am about to BURST!!!! It's so close now till I will FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY get to see Kagrra live!!! SERIOUSLY!!! You can't imagine how happy I am! OH GAWD!! It's not many days left till sunday now. AND!!!!! They will have a signing event after the concert and I don't know what to do.. I was hoping sooooo much that they would, it has been like the only think I have had on my mind lately (part from the total Kaoru obsession I have from time to time..) I only wanted to see them up close so badly.. and today when I got home from the city Hannya had written an offline message on MSN saying that they will have the signing event.. I cried (-.-)" then I watched their European Tour Message.. Fangirled over Shin's koto, LMAO'ed at Izum.. and cried after it ended (-.-)" I'm a crybaby.. But I can't help it.. I've wanted to see them live for so many years now. They are the greatest.

Just so I won't start to act like a crybaby again I will end this entry with a cut! Some pics of a new item they sold in Sun Ai. I could go back tomorrow just to get one more...

Last night I had a big laugh. Around midnight I thought I'd read up on Cyworld a little before going to bed. I want to sign up on cyworld so bad and I found a guide for foreighners so I may just create an account one of these days. But last night I decided to read some of the rules they have for signing up and.. something I found there made me laugh so much:

22.1    The Company shall not be liable for not providing the Service if it is unable to do so due to acts of God or other force majeure.

Oh really? So.. God.. sometimes close the site so that we wont be able to log on or something? :D Hillarious stuff.. Sorry if some christians think I'm a horrible person for this but seriously xD You know a country is a little bit too christian when they can blame "God".. or other forces.. for keeping the site down. Wonder if I can use that in school.. Yeah sorry I couldn't write my essay because "God" made my computer shut down and I couldn't get it to start again.. Sorry xD

I'm so bored.. I don't feel like doing anything I can do.. I don't like this feeling. I want to continue to watch One Piece but I don't have any more episodes. Maybe I'll watch one of Tim Burtons Batman films..

Speaking of Batman. I went to see Batman the Dark Knight the other day and I can only say that I love The Joker even more now. I was afraid they would ruin his awsomeness but they didn't <3 Happy~~ I want to find the cartoon that I watched when I was a kid. I so loved it~ I wanted to be Harley Quinn xD bwahahahaha!!! AAAAahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! But But.. She's cool! And And.... She was closeish to Joker D: oh sheesh..

Alot has happend since my last post. I went home to the forest for a few weeks, spending my days with a new obsession called Poupée Girl and packing all my things to get ready to move back to Stockholm fulltime. And here I am now in my new one-room apartment. I am in a desperate need to go to IKEA to buy some things though xD I have like nothing. I have a bed and a tv and my computer.. not too much else. Well a chest that I got from grandma when I was little on which the computer is resting for now. Oh and my beloved electric fan which I need now because it's always too hot in here. Oh well.. as I don't have any bookshelf or table or anything useful I can't really unpack my boxes of books, candles, buddhas and video games.. My apartment is a big mess really..

I do feel really happy though. I don't think I have realized I actually live on my own many many miles away from the forest. It will come to me though later on when uni starts and I have to get out more often and see that I'm in the big city now. Alone.. with my cat.. and the and I discovered before.. I tried to get the cat to eat it but it was too fast. Lazy cat.. He used to be such a good ant and spider catcher. Ah yeah anyway :D I've also decided to actually go through with the change from japanese to korean. Though I am a little nervous that I won't get into the korean-class in August.. Though they DO accept EVERYONE who apply for japanese so they should accept all few who apply for korean as well. And no one I've spoken to so far have seen a problem with it.. But you know how it is, can't be too sure till it's final.

As a final comment I must say I'm so VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY HAPPY because I decided to live on air and dust and buy a ticket for the Kagrra, concert in Stockholm in August~~ Gaaaaaaah I can't wait!! Kagrra, is one of the few bands I would actually cry rivers for not seeing if they come this close. So since I've become a big girl now I decided to treat myself to the wonderful, amazing Kagrra,. They come a little too soon though. I had made plans on what to wear to the future concert if they decided to come.. and I don't have any of the things yet xD oh darn I said.. Oh well. I think I'll go in my normal everyday clothes. Because I'm sure there will be just too many j-rocker wannabe's there anyway. And I'm sure that some will have some wa-loli clothes T_T I want to be wa-loli~ Just like a proper japan-nerd/Kagrra,-nerd~ Can I also add enka-nerd to this?

Oh and anyone who want to add me on Poupée! I'm now 비공주 -Bi-.

Last night I watched an episode of Cold Case where they had a case with this girl who had died in the.. I don't know, 50s? 60s? Can't remember unfortunately. Anyway, she was dressed as a boy most of the time, didnt use make-up and had a boys haircut. And so she was bullied and locked away in some horrible place where they put girls with that same "sickness" and tried to "heal" them by forcing them to learn to use makeup, and if they refused they got electric shocks so they lost their mind... It was horrible to watch because I could see myself in that girl. Since I never have been a "girl" as the society wants girls to be like. And I was happy when they said on the show that she was a gay guy trapped in a girls body :) that's what I've said about myself lately. Fits me perfectly. Sadly though, even though society have become somewhat better nowadays, as in we don't lock people up for being different, society is still treating those who are not "normal" with little respect. People can't understand how some may not be "normal" by society's standards. And very few are willing to listen to the others and even try to understand what we are going through. It's really sad. We who aren't "normal" straight, girly girls who like to talk about hair, make-up, the latest must-have fashion, curtains and how much we'd love to date guys, get married and have a house, a dog, 2,5 kids and all that.. We get ignored. We don't deserve to be listened to because we are weird and we should either learn to be normal or accept that we have to go through life being misunderstood. I'm so tired of locking myself up, not being able to be myself only because some people refuse to accept that I am who I am, and that is NOT the "normal" girl.

For anyone interested in me being hungry, there's food behind the cut!

Well yesterday I had two classes. First Japanese court poetry, which has turned out to be some bad ass course which normal people can't take. Seriously now. First of all it's damn good to have some sort of knowledge in the japanese language so you can read the poems in the native language because the translations are so bad since the poems in japanese can be read in atleast two different ways. Sometimes more. So reading some one sided english translation makes it hard to analyse... And to analyse these poems.. I would suggest that anyone who want to try to analyse them should have some kind of litterature education >.< it's seriously hard.. I don't know why I thought this class would be anything but hard..

The second class was The Korean Wave. I was soooo looking forward to this class because in the schedule it said we were going to talk about Shin Joong Hyun and Seo TaeJi. Yeah I thought there would be alot of Seo in class. We DID see one short liveclip with hin the other class. But of course the teacher decided to talk mostly about Shin Joong Hyun and let us hear his music as well as some traditional Korean music most of the class. When we finally got to talk about Seo he only talked like a minute about him and played half a song. Then he said something short about H.O.T. and played almost half a song.. Disappointing T_T ... Buuuuuuuuuuut it was ok anyway because for the last halfhour of the class we got to see the beginning of a concert with Rain hihihi. I was so happy. He is SO sexy damnit. It was only disturbing that I had to watch it with some swedish guys who had to laugh at everything he did -.- jealousy I say. They know they are nothing next to him. Oooooh yeah..

And now I'm sitting here watching The Little Mermaid in japanese. I must say I like it better in swedish. There's a few cartoons which actually are really good in swedish. They are few, but there are some atleast. My friend just happened to have it in japanese so I thought I'd watch it while I eat my try to make some interesting japanese-flavoured food.. The food was ok. If you're interested look behind the cut!


On a sidenote. It's 9pm and it's still almost 30 degrees celcius in this room. My chocolate is melting.

Aaah I've been so busy the past weeks.. months.. whatever.. I tried so hard to study a course at the university from home, not having to go to any lessons. Did Not Work Out At All. I gave it a try and it didn't work out. I'm not that kind of person who can read books just like that and understand it all. Sadly. So I've been freaking out the last few weeks because half of my points this semester where home education courses and I got a loan from CSN (they give money to students yea) for full studies so if I only completed 15 points out of 30 I would have to pay them back half of what I got. NOT too great. So I had to look for other courses to take at the uni and actually found two really interesting courses that started this week. One is about Japanese Heian-period poetry and the other is about "The Korean Wave", basically South Korean popular culture. Getting so much contact with korean culture again has given me so much doubt about my choice in language and country of interest. Yes I've been into Japan for almost 10 years and I still love the country, fashion, music, dramas, the history, classical theatre.. Just about everything. But thinking back on these years I started to wonder if I simply just chose Japan just because. Because the spoken language was easier to copy. From the early beginning I was interested in South Korea as well and have wanted to study the language. But I got snowed in on Japan and almost forced myself NOT to get too into Korean things. Maybe so that I wouldn't happen to get more interested in Korea.. I don't know really. All I know is that over the years a serious thought about moving over to South Korea have been stuck in my mind. And now, 3 something months before I start studying japanese for real, a big ass doubt edged itself inside my head.. This will so screw with my studying. I have 3 courses that need me focused on studying! I can't sit here and worry about my choices.. Gah.. I wish someone could tell me some great reason why I should choose one over the other.

OK I may be lateish on this. Yes I know Kusano and Uchi are back as trainees or whatnot. But I'm too busy with other things to keep up with all the news around the Johnny-boys. But I keep searching for new pictures of Kanjani8 and News hoping to see their faces there again. Today I went to Stockholm for class and took a walk to Sun Ai, the japanese bookstore, and bought some magazines. The newest FRUiTS, Kera and Wink Up.. When I got to uni it turned out the class is tomorrow instead. This made me cranky. Very cranky.. So when I got back to the bus home I decided to look through Wink Up. Starting to check on News and Kanjani8 quickly and then jump straight to Tsuyoshi <3 Who, by the way, looked great yet again. I bet what was said on the page was a bunch of great stuff.. When I was done with Tsuyoshi (this sounds bad somehow) I started to look through the last pages of the magazine.. And what do I find? UCHI!!! Alot of him all over pages 136 and 137! And he looks GOOD! I was about to scream KYAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~ but since the bus was filling up and some old man sat just next to me I had to try to control myself.. It was very hard.

(BTW, what is up with Ryo's perm??)

Today is a good day. The weather is one of my favorites, sunny with lots of rain. It can't be more beautiful than that. I just want to take a walk, but I'm too lazy to take walks just like that without a reason. Yes I do it sometimes, but it's rare, and it won't happen as long as I'm hungry (which I am right now.)

Earlier I went to Mondo to check if I finally got my grade in the stage art (nope) and found out that I almost missed another test in society lmao!! It's due tomorrow thankfully, but I didn't think that we would have a test only over the weekend so hadn't I been curious about my grade I wouldn't have seen this test till monday evening sometime, and that would be a day too late again LOL! I feel lucky. I guess I will have to check Mondo everyday from now on.

I also decided to check for some summerjob today. Makes me feel good about myself even though there's no jobs for me to apply for. So I sent a few e-mails to places that hadn't put up adds online. Hopefully I'll get something to do. I tried to look for something to do in Stockholm as well as home. But since I don't have an apartment there yet it's hard to work there. I did check on some student apartments but there's too many applicants for those, and most of them who are first in line have atleast 200 queue-days more than me, which means that I have no chance in hell to get an apartment at the moment. I can just hope to get one after the summer when I get back to uni again.

While dreaming about apartments in Stockholm I went through the IKEA catalog. Yessss I'm so swedish! But ye. I think I'll end up getting all new things once I get my own place in Stockholm. I don't feel like dragging what I have here all the way there. It's a pain. And I want a fresh start with new things which I have bought myself with my own money. It's about time mind you.

Though the best time today was when I was watching Kiiroi Namida. I like that film alot. Again, I said the same to Hanzo when I told how much I liked PikaNchi, I'm not sure if it's only because Arashi is in it or if the film is really that good. I am a bit sceptical with japanese films and usually don't have high thoughts about them. Atleast not horrorfilms. Though they seem to be good at making dramas. I've seen a few and I've liked them all. I should try to watch something that doesn't have Johnny-boys in it and see how I feel then. Anyway. The best part in the whole film has to be when Sho said sex is boring. I almost fell off my chair laughing. I liked him. Mostly because of his shorts. And because Aiba owns at taking big chunks of food *star eyes*

Oh yea now I'm going to my sisters for some birthdaypizza and a film! I should buy a big cake too. I've wanted cake like forever now.
*skipps off*

Here I am, watching Midsomer Murders yet again. Yes I watch it over and over because I love it alot! Right now there's an ongoing campain in Sweden where different papers let you buy cheap books or films if you buy their paper, and every thursday you can buy Midsomer Murders. This times they've sold seasons 1 through 4. I wish they could continue with the rest as well!

Sadly I'm really bad at updating my LJ (and I've said it too many times before). I love to read other peoples blogs and I do want to write my own but I'm way too lazy to keep it up. I usually sit and think that I should update becuase something happened but I end up thinking I can do it tomorrow :D bwahaha..


Also during this time when I havent posted (I should post more often to prevent these too long posts, thank god for LJ cuts!) the japanese stageart course ended. I'm still waiting to get my grade which I'm so not sure of. I got full score on every test but I'm not sure I got the final essay questions right so I may not pass -.- horrible feeling.. Also the Japanese society course started a week or two ago. I was waiting for the first test to come up on Mondo but it didn't in a long time. At the time I went to Stockholm it still wasn't up but I didn't think too much about it since all the stageart tests were up for atleast a week. However when I got back home and checked Mondo again it turns out the test was up from friday evening till monday evening, and I went away on friday morning and got home monday night >.< so I missed it. And now I don't know what will happen. I sent an e-mail to the man in charge asking what I should do now. I hope I can take the test later on.

Oh dear a superpost! Well just one more thing. I've finally decided on the tattoos I'm going to get. I wont tell what :D I'll post pictures once I got them. This may not happen in a few months though because I have to save my money for now. And I want to buy CD's. Yes buy. Not download. Buy buy buy!

Argh! I just checked on my new years resolutions. Of course I had totally ignored them and haven't started with two of them.. And for the japanese studies, well atleast I'm studying something. It's hard to do on your own really. Though I do try to learn some kanji atleast. And I've always thought it to be studying when watching japanese shows. They DO speak japanese! So its practice. Right?

And now I want to fangirl over A.B.C. some.


I need more friends to fangirl with huhu..

Well, I took a long break from LJ. Atleast a break in writing. I should ban breaks like this since I do it out of lazyness and blame it on my uninteresting life even tho I've had alot to write about if I only think about it. I started studying in early february and could have told alot of things about this since it's one of the subjects I love the most. Though, I do love this subject enough to talk about it long after this course is over (which is soon sadly). I've actually decided to make this subject part of my university education. And what is it you ask? Japanese stage art, theater, such as kabuki, bunraku, noh and kyogen. I love it just so much that I for the first time in my life actually long to go to school and actually felt sad and unhappy earlier this week since I had a bad flu with fever and had to stay home. I only stayed home one day though because the next day we were going to watch some films which I didn't want to miss. (and fortunately "the next day" was three days later, I only have class twice a week). So this friday (the 7th) we watched some kabuki in class. Well we watched one kabuki in class which everyone had to see, and then after a break those who wanted to watch more could stay and watch another (which turned into watching three). In class we watched Kanjinchô (勧進帳), which I recommend everyone to watch because it's really great. This one starred the great Ichikawa Danjûrô XII (十二代目 市川 團十郎) as Benkei. After the play we were supposed to sit in groups and discuss it. Though I ended up not saying anything because I am shy and I was tired due to my flu. Though listening to the others made me realize I watched that play quite differently from them which surprised me. It surprised me even more to see how few of the others who were interested in staying to see the other plays. I guess most in class only study this class because they have to have something to study while studying japanese and can't be too bothered with it. A few stayed with me however, including my friend Kirabi whom I will probably include in some other posts when I rant about the Johnny-boys..

In the second part of the day we watched two dances with the amazing Bandô Tamasaburô V (五代目 坂東 玉三郎), THE greatest onnagata today. For you who don't know what an onnagata is, it's a male actor who has specialized in the roles of women in japanese theatre. These came to be due to the ban of women (1629) and young men (1652) on stage after getting involved with prostitution. Anyway. The dances we watched were Kurokami and Sagi Musume, both really beautiful dances. I love Sagi Musume more though. I had already seen it on YouTube (I love YouTube) a few days before and it was great to watch it on a big screen. Aah~~ Beautiful Tamasaburo-sama~~


After a short break we watched the last hour of the play Shiranami Gonin Otoko which we had started to watch another time. This play was great as well and it also starred Ichikawa Danjûrô (and his son Ichikawa Shinnosuke (Ebizô) who was also in Kanjinchô). This I would like to see again however because it was already past lunchtime and I had been up since before 5am, and with my flu, well you can say I was tired and at times my eyes couldn't stay open.. I didnt miss much but I did miss some mie poses which Kirabi talked alot about afterwards. I'll have to ask the teacher where I can get those DVD's.

After we were done the teacher told us that we should be proud of ourselves that we had watched three kabuki plays in one day since not even japanese people does that. I'm not sure what was so hard about it though. Then again, I got them explained by the english speaking narrator so I guess it would be more of a challenge and a bit more tiresome to watch it in only japanese. And maybe I'm just more crazy when it comes to these things..

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As a sidenote I can add that I had a horrible day today. I've been completely busy with KAT-TUN lately (read "for many many months"), downloading Cartoon KAT-TUN and You-tachi, watching them endlesly.. And I've neglected my poor Johnny-boys too much thanks to this. Got back to... reality.. when Kirabi came home from Japan with lots of Johnny-stuff for me in january, though I've still been stuck on You-tachi since it has Nakamaru, Koki AND Kitty (yey~) so I've still neglected to check up on Johnny-news.. Today I decided to start reading a Ya-Ya-Yah LJ I found yesterday and found the news about Taiyo quitting JE. Yes I was a bit late with this but it still came as a shock to me. Firstly because I found it out so late, and secondly because Yax3 was one of the first favorites of mine (much thanks to the onigokko). I was surprised to find out that Yabu and Hikaru was in HSJ earlier this year, but I didn't think too much about it since Ryo and Uchi were both in News and Kanjani8 at the same time.. I guess something happened. I would like to know what..

If a person feel they have lived an unhappy life, there is bound to come a day when they stop in their tracks and say to themselves
"Its enough, there has to be a change"
At that point there are two possible roads to take and that person has to make a choice. Many take the easy road, stay the same and just wait for the change to happen by itself. This will sooner or later be proved to be a bad choice since the change doesn't lay in the world around but in ourselves, and therefore we need to take the hard road and start to take control of our own lives. So far in my life I've unfortunately been a very lazy person. I've had many dreams about my future and life, but I haven't done much about it. I've let others influence my choices and later blamed them for being unhappy and then just sat there dreaming of a better life, but never truly did anything about it.

Now, again, thanks to my friends catching their dreams, I've stopped to think about the changes I want done. And now I've finally taken the first step on the hard road towards MY dream. And it has already proved itself hard. Han I not seriously felt I need this change to survive I could already have gone back to the easy road. But now it's final and I will move away from the forest and to the big city. This has made some people go completely silent, and some scream louder than ever. It really does seem like everyone are afraid of changes. I however have grown hopeful about my own change and afraid to stay where I have always been.

Also, since its the first day of a new year, I want to make some New Year's resolutions as a part of my change.
1. Study Japanese
2. Follow the Pilates plan
3. Start with the martial arts

In other words, finally do what I've planned for years and stop being so lazy! (I wonder how many people out there makes these resolutions and never keep them.. )

Oh my first post.. I created this a few days ago but havent posted earlier because, well I'm posting sort of in the blind xD my computerscreen is all messed up. I cant see what my theme and colours are hehe. Surprisingly I can see the text I'm writing pretty well, tho this does not mean I can spell any better than if I couldnt have seen the text.. Anyway, I thought I can start with just trying it all out. And then make everything look better once I have bought my new computer. The Cristmas sale has started woho!
Take care all!